I could fix world hunger with the amount of random advice I have been given that would cure my cancer. I think the one that told me that I should do all herbal medicines because that’s what her mother did even though she died six months later likely took the cake for me early on in my journey. Anyone going through treatment or cancer doesn’t need to hear that bull shit, trust me. My pockets are not lined by big pharma either when I say this, we see oncologists for a reason. If you really want to know, my pockets are lined with medical bills of treatments that kept me alive.
I chose chemotherapy and I would chose it again if I had a reoccurrence if that’s what my oncologist told me was the treatment while searching out clinical trials to discuss with him. I am fortunate to have an oncologist that has a research team that searches clinical trials and studies for ovarian cancer patients. If you find yourself or a loved one not so fortunate then go to clincialtrials.gov and search them out for yourself. I also would not jeopardize my treatment for anything, it didn’t matter to me if it would lessen my nausea if it meant it could potentially lessen the chemotherapy I was lucky to be responding to.
People want so desperately to give hope to someone that they don’t think about the dangerous information they are sharing. If you got it from Facebook then you need to reevaluate how you get credible information. Let me just share with you that someone recently shared with me that all I had to do was eat a grapefruit a day to avoid cancer. Let that just marinate for a second… you know what that is… BULL SHIT. Don’t push that crap on your friends because that’s what it is, CRAP. You know what articles like that are? Click bait in the truest form. Someone literally made up some crap that you would digest and be all like, “that totally seems like a viable solution, everyone needs to eat grapefruit, and oh look I can buy a pair of the comfiest house slippers at the end of this article.” And you are officially a moron. If you are offended by this then look yourself in the mirror and say, “I promise to seek out credible information from credible sites from this day forward.”
If I had a dollar for every time someone tried to recommend CBD oil during my treatment I would be a millionaire. Not kidding. At first I ignored it. Then I used my cancer as a platform. If you are going to tell me about CBD oil and how it would cure my cancer then I would gladly tell you how dangerous your information was to be spewing at people. To this day I still do not feel the least bit sorry for putting someone in their place. There are three people who developed my treatment plan and I’ll give you a clue, Facebook was not one of the three. My oncologist, my husband, and myself were the three and not one of us pulled our phones out to consult Facebook, imagine that.
Cancer patients are fighting for two things, time and life. Don’t mess with a person who is fighting for either of those things. If anything could potentially make my treatment less effective and you offered that up to me, you almost immediately went on my shit list. I was fighting for my life and time with my husband and my two girls. How dare you mess with that. I know most people come from a genuine place but please read that crap back to yourself, place yourself in my shoes if you possibly can, and then ask yourself would I believe this if I was fighting for the most precious gifts of all time? I would never be able to look my girls in their sweet, beautiful, and innocent eyes if I didn’t give it every ounce of what I’ve got to fight cancer. I didn’t walk through chemo for myself. I walked through chemo for my children and my spouse. A month or two ago I thought to myself, I couldn’t answer if I’d walk through chemo again if cancer reoccurred for me. But when my kids wrap their arms around me and tell me, “mom, I love you to the universe and back,” there is no question, I’d walk through chemo all over again if it would buy me more time with my kids, my husband, and my family. It’s literally the thing that makes me not sleep at night, even in remission. I likely will never know a good nights sleep for the rest of my life and somehow I am ok with that.
Rather than your crazy advice on the treatment plan you think we ought to be doing we just want and need your love and support. We aren’t looking for you to cure us. We don’t need you to become a philosopher overnight, we don’t need you to tell us everything will be fine (I will roll my eyes hard if you do), and we sure don’t need you tell us to eat ginger, drink supposed anti-cancer juices, take CBD oil, or to eat freaking grapefruit. We need your love and support. Saying, “I am so sorry,” is more than enough. Saying, “I will be there to sit with you and watch amazingly trashy tv or watch the trees sway in your backyard with you,” those are the kind of people we will surround ourselves with. Those that brought meals to us, prayed for us, those that told us they were sorry, those were the people we cherish to this day. Be one of those people. We don’t need you to move mountains, we literally just need you to be there, exist with us, and sometimes not say anything at all. To cry with us and then smile with us but not offer up your unsolicited advice.
Save your random treatments that you find on the internet. We need your love and support. If you catch yourself thinking, “wow, this is crazy and sounds crazy,” then just keep that shit to yourself. We don’t need it but thank you anyways as I know it comes from a good place. We literally just don’t want to hear it and we shouldn’t have to.
I am literally enjoying the best cabernet ever from my co-workers because they get that I don’t need internet advice on my cancer, sometimes I just need a good cabernet and their support! Raise your glass and cheer to knowing better than the ill-advised internet medical doctors out there! Raise those glasses to those fighting cancer, hats off to those fighting the ultimate fight! Forever in our thoughts and hearts! Raise a glass for all survivors!