I believe every year most people dream of a white Christmas. I know that I certainly do. When there was a 50/50 shot early on of having a white Christmas I was over the moon excited. When it was just a couple of days prior and it began to snow my heart was at peace. We were FINALLY going to have a white Christmas.
Why am I a little beyond crazy for wanting a white Christmas, you might ask? For me, snow is symbolic of a rebirth. The way I see it snow makes everything new again in some fashion. The dusting across the ground makes for new terrain. It brings a new shimmer, texture, and color other than what existed prior. People literally have to slow down with snow. Life isn’t as rushed with snow. Once snow melts away for a season then new life springs up, literally. This is the rebirth portion.
Much of 2017 for me was very much dreaded. No one looks forward to surgery or chemo. Not many anticipate the emotional aftermath that cancer can bring once the dust settles. I somehow feel like I am underneath the snow and ready for a rebirth of sorts. Cancer was my snow, there was beauty in the journey, troubles in the terrain, and now I’m able to see the new; rebirth.
This time last year I was not looking forward to 2017 at all because I knew what was ahead, the hardest year of my entire life. This moment in time is so very different from a year ago. I am in remission. I am out there experiencing life and not letting it run past me. I don’t fear the future no matter what it brings. Last year I set what I would call an obligatory New Year’s resolution which was to kick cancer’s ass. Somewhere along the way I found my voice for it all, hence the blog. Now I am living in my vision and not my circumstance, thank you to the wise words from Head Coach of the Colts, Chuck Pagano!
I will release my big plans for 2018 soon. I am excited to make this one hell of a memorable year. Right now I’m just enjoying the ground work that snow rested upon me. Snow can be enchanting if we allow it to be. Think about how you go to bed with one view and wake up with a brand new view from snow. It can be magical if you allow it to be. You can look at snow as something to shovel or something to make snow angels in, I prefer the second portion. Go make some snow angels! Snow also provokes my inner child when I let it and I see a sled purchase in my very near future.
I have not always been this way. I disliked snow after the first snow fall for most of my adult life. Today I am just embracing the briskness, the beauty, and the special meaning I now see in it. It’s magical! Perhaps my inner child is being fed more or perhaps it is cancer teaching me to see the true beauty in everything. Honestly, I believe it is both.
My Christmas felt beyond magical. There were moments I had to catch myself from my heart being so full that tears began to form. Surrounded by people that I love. Joyous laughter filling rooms. Family filling an entire church pew in the morning. To a beautiful candlelight service in which we were reminded that it all began with a baby. A house filled with love and amazing food. My heart was and is full. It was a magical white Christmas with glorious moments and for the first time in many years snow covered the ground!
Here is to 2018, a year I am actually looking forward to with hope, anticipation, and wonder! My snowy rebirth of beauty and new life. Cheers to 2017, the year that taught me the most about who I am, the year that challenged me beyond what I could have ever imagined, the year that I kicked cancer’s ass! Raise those Cabernet glasses to snow and rebirth!