The Silence Fillers

There are phrases that hit to the very core of my existence. I heard one of those phrases today uttered to another survivor. “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.” Excuse me while I go and vomit. This phrase has no value other than to fill the awkward silence. The silence when someone…… Continue reading The Silence Fillers

The Tears You Won’t See Me Shed

We all have them, the tears that we don’t allow others to see.  If people are honest with themselves we all have a chapter of our story that we don’t read out loud.  A chapter that never gets put down on paper.  We seal it away from the world.  Fear, privacy, intimacy, those are just…… Continue reading The Tears You Won’t See Me Shed

To Port Out or to Not Port Out, That is the Question

A year ago today I was in surgery for cancer staging and to have a hysterectomy.  Today I made my way up to the oncology floor for a port flush.  I found so much comfort in just the routine of things that I smile when I walk through those hospital revolving doors.  I am instantly…… Continue reading To Port Out or to Not Port Out, That is the Question

The Bad Charades Game

If you ever want to know what chemo brain is like then just picture yourself trying to play a terrible game of charades where absolutely no one gets you. Lately I have been struggling to find words I never would have struggled with prior to cancer. At times I can laugh it off and say,…… Continue reading The Bad Charades Game

We Don’t Need Your Random Treatments You Found on the Internet

I could fix world hunger with the amount of random advice I have been given that would cure my cancer.  I think the one that told me that I should do all herbal medicines because that’s what her mother did even though she died six months later likely took the cake for me early on…… Continue reading We Don’t Need Your Random Treatments You Found on the Internet

The Cancer Pottery Wheel

If you’ve never taken a piece of clay and thrown it onto a pottery wheel to create a masterpiece, I encourage you to do so!  In my time I have done that very thing and I can think of a time in particular where I just couldn’t get it right and I kept starting over…… Continue reading The Cancer Pottery Wheel

Where Did the Chemo Highs Go

Just like a good rain, sunshine usually follows.  Chemo was much the same.  It had it’s chemo dips and then those dips parted ways for what I refer to as the chemo highs.  Those were the days were I felt GOOD, like really good, like so good that I could clean the whole house, wash…… Continue reading Where Did the Chemo Highs Go