The Silence Fillers

There are phrases that hit to the very core of my existence. I heard one of those phrases today uttered to another survivor. “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.” Excuse me while I go and vomit. This phrase has no value other than to fill the awkward silence. The silence when someone…… Continue reading The Silence Fillers

Live in the Details

There is no better place to be. I don’t live for the big events anymore. I live in the details. When I went to the grocery store this morning it was raining, just a normal January drizzle. I danced in the rain, skipped is more like it, jumped in a puddle, and looked up while…… Continue reading Live in the Details

The Tears You Won’t See Me Shed

We all have them, the tears that we don’t allow others to see.  If people are honest with themselves we all have a chapter of our story that we don’t read out loud.  A chapter that never gets put down on paper.  We seal it away from the world.  Fear, privacy, intimacy, those are just…… Continue reading The Tears You Won’t See Me Shed

To Port Out or to Not Port Out, That is the Question

A year ago today I was in surgery for cancer staging and to have a hysterectomy.  Today I made my way up to the oncology floor for a port flush.  I found so much comfort in just the routine of things that I smile when I walk through those hospital revolving doors.  I am instantly…… Continue reading To Port Out or to Not Port Out, That is the Question

Snow is a Rebirth

I believe every year most people dream of a white Christmas. I know that I certainly do. When there was a 50/50 shot early on of having a white Christmas I was over the moon excited. When it was just a couple of days prior and it began to snow my heart was at peace.…… Continue reading Snow is a Rebirth

The Bad Charades Game

If you ever want to know what chemo brain is like then just picture yourself trying to play a terrible game of charades where absolutely no one gets you. Lately I have been struggling to find words I never would have struggled with prior to cancer. At times I can laugh it off and say,…… Continue reading The Bad Charades Game

That Instant Connection

It’s like a snap of a finger for me, likely most people who have had cancer feel the same as me, you feel an instant connection with any survivor. It just clicks and it doesn’t matter your age, walk of life, religion, or gender. If you think about it, the cancer community kind of has…… Continue reading That Instant Connection